You Make Your Own Heaven

The other day Jim Carrey on Twitter, on one of his crazy rants, was asking people to send in their pics of Heaven. I like this pic (no one sent this in). I like the meditative quality of this. Surrounded by flood waters, she is content with her cup of noodles.

Review: Mama Mia's Pizzeria

She called me Fred. "She" being the somewhat attractive but ditzy blonde who's always behind the counter at Mama Mia's when I go in. "Fred" is what she said the other night when I picked up some rigatoni bolognese--"Fred, your dinner's ready."

My name is not Fred.

Mama Mia's is in a crappy strip mall on Johnson Avenue in Ronkonkoma, filled with giant car-swallowing potholes. Some locals told me they love the place, so I gave it a try. The pizza is decent. Average Long Island size. $13.00 after tax.

Someone also told me they like the spaghetti with meat sauce. I didn't see spaghetti with meat sauce on the menu. The closest thing was rigatoni bolognese, which tasted like cheeseburger Hamburger Helper. No joke. That was $10.85 after tax. BTW, there are no prices on the menu above the counter.

Verdict: would have given it an average rating for the pizza. The Fred thing earns it a 0.

She called me Fred
Which she shouldn't a said.
The review is now dead
Like a shot in the head.

Mama Mia's Pizzeria

892 Johnson Ave.

Ronkonkoma, NY

News Source!

Long Island Food Blog is now a recognized news source, according to NPR.

I was teasing a friend about this yesterday who is an NPR fan. He has now sworn off NPR.

Can't wait for my press credentials to start rolling in.

Bay Shore Restaurant Week April 12 - 21

More here.

Aji 53 Japanese Cuisine*
Captain Bill’s
Cool Water Grill
Declan Quinn’s
fatfish Wine Bar & Bistro
Galanga Thai Restaurant
Gibson Street Restaurant
The Jon Thomas Inne
The LakeHouse*
Milk & Sugar Café
Mitsui Japanese Restaurant
Molly Malone’s
Nicky’s Clam Bar
The Nutty Irishman
Peninsula Oriental Cuisine
The Pie at Salvatore’s
Sea Levels
Smokin’ Al's BBQ
T.J. Finley’s
Tula Kitchen
Yesterday's Cafe

*Aji 53 and The LakeHouse are participating for lunch only

Good Article on How No One Cares About [Wine] Bloggers

Derrick Schneider of obession with food wrote a good article about how no one cares about bloggers--and in that article, wine bloggers. (Look for it on his site. His permalink isn't working at the moment.)

I've seen my share of self-important wine bloggers, including locally, who write long, tedious posts about wine every damn day and have a bunch of advertising on their sites. Well guess what? No one cares! Those blogs have no influence in the industry and no impact on wine sales says the article.

It's nice to see a leading food and wine blogger put these people in their place. This guy too. Stop taking yourselves so seriously! No one cares about your blogs, and no one cares about your stupid conferences on wine blogging!

God knows no one cares about this website, and I think it's pretty obvious I don't take it seriously. I don't even have advertising and have rejected any offers. I don't care if anyone reads the useless information on here or not. It's just my take on food on Long Island, and I started this because I thought everyone else said dumb things about the restaurants I went to. So suck it, wine bloggers.

Review: Maxxel's

Maxxel's is a little place in a strip mall in Mineola, next to an always-busy Panera Bread. And when I say busy, I means ba-hizzy.

Not really sure what the place is supposed to be. It calls itself an "American Bistro." It has mussels, meatballs, pasta, and american and french food. The place seems to push its wines, so it must pride itself on the wine selection, which I don't really care about.

I've been here for lunch a few times, not for dinner. The dinner menu is moderate/reasonable, but lunch is overpriced. The place is tiny inside. Maybe 10 to 12 tables.

The hamburger (Maxxels Sirloin Burger) is very good. The fries are shit (though Hot Secretary likes them). I should note that the shitty fries are the matchstick ones. On a recent visit they were serving fatter fries. I don't know how the fatties taste.

I've had their American Bento lunch for $14.95 (ouch). I picked meatballs and wild mushroom soup and had them pick the veggie and salad. The meatballs were not great and had an herb or spice that was strong that I couldn't place--possibly cumin, which I detest; the tomato sauce was sweet, which I don't mind. Balsamic vinaigrette on a mesclun mix was pretty good. Sauteed green beans and carrots were boring and stupid. Wild mushroom soup was not bad.

Hot Secretary really likes the grilled chicken with provolone and spinach sandwich. She hated the beef fajita wrap and thought the meat was awful.

American Bento Lunch

Hamburger

Verdict: good hamburger, otherwise average food, interesting menu, overpriced.

3 out of 5 stars
Maxxels
526 Jericho Turnpike
Mineola, NY 10005

Off-Topic: Go Butler!

Butler 52, Michigan State 50 - More The Indianapolis Star Galleries

View this gallery at The Indianapolis Star: Butler 52, Michigan State 50

I was in the stands in the Hoosier Dome in March, 1991 when Duke beat an undefeated UNLV team before going on to win the championship. And I stood up with the tens of thousands of people cheering and clapping for 10 minutes (or whatever it was) after the game was over.

But I'll be rooting like a lunatic for Butler on Monday night against them. Great story. Wish I was there. I would love to pig out while watching the game, but I've been trying to behave lately.

Local (sort of) tie-in:

A good friend of George Steinbrenner's came into the restaurant about 2001 or 2002, and he says to me [Bobby Plump], 'Mr. Steinbrenner has seen the movie "Hoosiers" 180 times. He sees it every time he's disappointed.' And I said, 'You mean he's only seen it 180 times?' And ['Hoosiers' screenwriter] Angelo Pizzo told me this: He said Steinbrenner has the movie in his private plane and in his houses. And he was taking Lee Iacocca to a meeting in his private plane. And he said, 'Lee, I want you to see this movie.' And Lee says, 'Ehh, what's it about? 'Well, it's about a high school basketball team.' And Iacocca says, 'I don't want to see a movie about a high school basketball team in Indiana.' Supposedly, Steinbrenner said, 'It's my plane, your free ride, so absolutely, we're watching it.'

On the flight back, Lee Iacocca asked whether they could watch the movie again.

Don't Fight and This Will Be Over Quick

This unsettling image was also in the March, 2010 bon appetit. It's from a slightly overwritten article by Andrew McCarthy, of all people, about trying to find traditional brown soda bread in Ireland.

I feel like I'm in a psych ward, and it's time for an angry bath from the head nurse--which I may or may not enjoy.

Local Shout Out: Loaves & Fishes

The Vegetable Slaw of Loaves & Fishes in Sagaponack/Bridgehampton was featured in the March, 2010 bon appetit. But, since bon appetit didn't put it online, I can't, either, even though I am holding the magazine at this moment. I will say this: surprise ingredient sugar snap peas trimmed and thinly sliced.

The person asking for the recipe is named Dotson (first name), and he/she spends a week in the Hamptons every spring. No, I will not make a joke that only people named Dotson spend a week in the Hamptons each year.