Monday, February 25, 2008

Hooters Sucks

You know what's stupid about Hooters? I took a buddy of mine to lunch at the Hooters in East Meadow recently. I've been to Hooters before, but my buddy hadn't. We're not bad looking guys, so I was looking forward to an hour or so of flirting with (hopefully) hottie waitresses in their orange short shorts.

But we were pretty much ignored the whole time. When we got there the lunch hour rush had passed, and the place was pretty quiet. However, instead of hanging out with us, the waitresses were all sitting down, yacking with the fat, middle-aged losers who were still there.
Of course, it's obvious what they were up to. They were pretending to be interested in talking to those schmucks so they get big tips. So, I'm assuming they were all regulars and guys who are so pathetic they have to pay to talk with attractive women. Not that the waitresses were all that attractive, anyway. Can you say muffin top? Flat asses?

And the wings sucked. So, screw you, Hooters.


At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree hooter's has went downhill they are cunts now

At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i recently went to a newly opened hooters and it sucks. The waitress their said the cheese steak was good but it sucks . I could probaly do better . I got to tip my hat to the creator of hooters a Robert H. Brooks . Basically hooters is an over priced average food resturant.

At 10:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 12:26 PM, Blogger Butter lover said...

I was going to make a smart-ass comment. But, listen, if you're a Hooters regular, and you leave big fat tips so the waitresses will talk to you, you're getting played. They don't give a shit about you or me or anyone else. Don't give them the satisfaction.

At 7:08 PM, Blogger TheWorldWeSee said...


My husband had never been to Hooters before. I told him it was a great place to go for oysters, wings, games and beer. We went on in to the Valdosta, GA location.

We ate on the balcony by the lake. We bought some fish food and fed the fish. We watched some TV and ate some oysters. The food was good. We enjoyed the RM Classic Car Auction on TV.

Here is the part that was not so good…

We learned that language is very colorful between waitresses and patrons at Hooters. I have honestly never been to restaurant and heard as many details about an individual waitress, her friends, recent conversation with other friends and spoken with such vulgarity. I must say I have never heard so many cuss words used in rapid succession while eating. I live in the south and watch NASCAR with my husband… we also cuss, but not like this little girl.

The waitress was on Fxckin’ facebook last night and got in an heated Fxckin’ conversation about STD’s in Valdosta. Then that Axxhole Steven jumped in and spoke his Fxckin’ mind about it. She had to tell him to Fxckoff and kiss her Fxckin’ Axx.

I was little offended by her vulgarity. But my husband assured me, “Collage kids are little different these days.” He said about the vulgarity, “This must be the ‘Delightfully Tacky’ part of the Hooters experience!”

But it gets better… The waitress took in some glasses and came back. We then had the opportunity to learn some Hooters politics and the proper name for the balcony. She said that she had the “Fxckin’ Patio” tonight and she had to tell that Bxtch Ginger to Fxxk Off cause she already had two parties. She then let her friend know she was not scared of that Bxtch and could kick her Fxckin Axx any day because she was a (dirty promiscuous female). Or in her words a “Scanky Whore”. Thankfully Ginger came out onto the “Fxckin Patio” and the waitress stopped talking about her.

I was OK with the language. I have used all those words… heard them before, but never from waitress at a restaurant I was dining at.

But it gets even better… I wasted my 2 quarters on the fish food. This same waitress taught us how to be more frugal, waste less food and keep the trash bags empty. She may need a bonus for this cost cutting measure. As she was bussing the table she simply took the plates of food and tossed into the lake. There were 2 pickles bobbing, 2 tomatoes sinking, a hamburger wobbling, half a bun floating, countless fries a floating and a few jalapeños just for flavor… all in the lake for the fish to enjoy.

My husband said, “This must be what they mean by ‘Yet Unrefined’ here!” WOW we could have saved 50 cents.”

The friends she was speaking with earlier suggested that it might not be a good thing, throwing the food in lake. She said that she does it all the time. He said when he feeds his dog that kinda stuff the dog always throws-up. He assumed it was the same for most other animals and told her he did not think it was part of the animals’ normal diet. She assured him that the fish like it and they will eat the food if they get hungry enough.

She left again… I have to say was upset now. There has to be something wrong with this… it just looked stupid, sounded stupid, looked lazy and ruined the view. I learned fish don’t eat any of the stuff she through in lake… but birds do. And what comes with birds… Bird poop and loud birds.

As the food bobbed, floated, sank and got eaten by birds… the waitress returned. She picked up a plate of chicken wing bones and started to walk away with them. One of her friends asked her why she didn’t throw the chicken wings in the lake. She said without hesitation, “Fish don’t like chicken bones!” Another lesson learned.

We paid our check. Then we left. We made a couple of phone calls to tell some friends to educate them on what we had learned about wildlife, the proper name for the balcony at Hooters and little about the waitress. We found this so amusing we decided to share it with you.

I don’t think my husband and I will come back to Hooters together. But he’s exited. He’s ridin’ his motorcycle down next weekend. He found the perfect place to cuss, act like an Axx hole, and even clean up after himself. Oh Yeah he wants me to add… Thanks.

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