Sunday, March 20, 2005

Iron Chef, "Battle Cheese" - "Yes, Battle Cheese"

Just finished watching Iron Chef America on the Food Network. Mario wins again. Can anyone stop this guy? He's a hell of a cook, but a little too full of himself. I can't say I'll be displeased when someone finally beats him.

Something that's quite different on Iron Chef America from the original Japanese version is that each course is often composed of many different, discrete dishes. Sometimes four or five, and often, not every dish incorporates the "battle" ingredient. Also, these guys (both challengers and sometimes Iron Chefs) try to do too much with each course, with sometimes disastrous results--as what happened to Scott Campbell's monstrosity-on-the-tile thing.

The judges only gave Campbell 18 out of 30 points for flavor, but fat boy got 29(!). I'm guessing, of course, that the 30 total points for tasting is based on the well-known Zagat formula--and that is a rating system I may use myself on this website.

I would have to say that one of the judges, Barbara Fairchild, Editor-in-Chief of Bon Appetit, one of the food mags I subscribe to, was completely annoying. The first judge was slightly less annoying, but I wanted to hear more from the third guy--no, it's not the usual surly, smug, fat-ass Jeffrey Steingarten. (I would find out their names, but it's late as I write this.)

Anyway, at one point, while eating one of Mario's dishes, Fairchild moaned (cheeks flushed, beads of perspiration collected on her upper lip) that she was having a "foodgasm." (I was on the edge of my seat wondering who was going to win after that.)

First of all, saying you're having a "foodgasm" is about the most weak, lame-ass, pseudo-hip thing one could think of. It reminds me of another annoying person--a chef in an episode of "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" (more about that show in future posts)--who would say things like "That's sex on a plate." God. Just shut the hell up. Secondly, as "foodgasm" is obviously related to "orgasm," I don't want the word orgasm even remotely associated with Barbara Fairchild. It reminds me of Gloria Stuart in Titanic talking about "the most erotic experience" of her life. Eeesh... (shivering)

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